Scene 1 A Will
In the Dinning Room the entire
party is seated eating the dessert course.
Mr. Green:
(Plops napkin on plate and pushes plate away from him. He pushes back his
chair and yawns) That was marvelous! Superb! Thank you for such an
excellent meal, Mrs. White.
Mrs. White:
(immediately picks up plate and napkin and hides her face behind them.
Sticks out her tongue) Thank you (sweetly) (turns and rolls eyes)
Mr. Boddy:
(Laughs merrily) (Taps wine glass with a knife) My dear Friends.
I hate to interrupt this grand party, but I have life-altering announcement to
make. Stay Mrs. White.
Mrs.
White: (halfway out the door making bizarre
face) (turns and smiles) Me too?
Mr. Boddy:
Yes. I can’t tell you how fond I’ve become of all of you.
Col. Mustard:
(applauds) Awesome!
Mr. Boddy:
(shushes Mustard)
Col. Mustard:
(rants) No one shushes me! I challenge you to a duel!
Mrs. Peacock:
(astounded) How vulgar! Not in the dinning room, please. Continue Mr.
Boddy.
Col. Mustard:
(calmly) You’re right, Mrs. Peacock.
Mrs. Peacock:
(snootily) Thank you.
Mr. Boddy:
(slightly frustrated) As I was saying: Many people envy my millions, but
they don’t have such friends as you all. I would be lonely without you all
here. (beams at Ms. Scarlet)
Ms. Scarlet:
(dabs lips with red handkerchief and
bats eyes at Mr. Boddy)
Mr. Boddy:
(smiles uncertainly) We’ve had awesome times, right? I should say so!
Except for the times we’ve tried to kill each other.
Mrs. Peacock: (nervously)
Mr. Boddy! Watch your tongue!
Mr. Boddy:
(simply, but without much regret) I apologize, but in the end we’ve had
a marvelous time, Right?
Prof. Plum:
(smiles triumphantly) Indeed! (raises glass and drinks. It’s apple
juice)
Mr. Boddy:
After my wife, Sarah Louise, died…(sighs and looks out the window for a
brief moment, eyes are teary) (looks at the crowd) I never believed
I’d find joy once again. Thank you all.
Mr. Green:
You’ve been a busy Boddy! (everyone laughs)
Mr. Boddy:
(after calming down and catching breath) I made out a new will. (every
stares at him) Since I have no living heir, I’ve left everything evenly to
each of you.
Mrs. White:
(stammers) That’s thoughtful.
Mr. Boddy:
(Masterfully continues) It’s nothing. The mansion is for all of you. Use
it wisely. Try not to set fire again. I’m not planning on dying soon. (smiles)
(everyone oohs and awes.)
Scene cut
Scene 2 Dead Boddy
(Mr. Boddy face down in the lounge with
a blow to his head. The Candlestick is nearby.)
(Mrs. White enters to straighten up and
dust, but lets out a blood-curling scream instead. Everyone comes running in
almost knocking each other over.)
Prof. Plum:
What in the world is going on? (scratches head)
(Mrs. Peacock points to Mr. Boddy)
(Ms. Scarlet nearly faints.)
Prof. Plum:
Oh. (feels Boddy’s pulse.) Dead as a doornail.
Mrs. Peacock:
How rude! (She and Ms. Scarlet start ball. Mrs. White sneers behind a towel she
purposely pulls from her apron.)
Col. Mustard:
‘Tis true! (walks to closest phone and dials a number) Hello? This is
Col. Mustard. I’m calling about a recent murder at the Boddy mansion. Mr. Boddy
is dead. (listens to other end) Right. Bye.
Mr. Green:
Dog-gone-it! No more parties with him! (bitterly)
Ms. Scarlet:
Yes. Isn’t it dreadful? (she almost laughs, but stops herself, no one
notices except Mrs. White)
Mrs.
White: It’s Horrible! One of you has got to be the murder or murderess. (she
sneers at Ms. Scarlet)
Prof. Plum:
And You’re free of charge? I don’t think so.
Mrs. White:
(protests, shocked raises hand to mouth) I loved him! (sticks out tongue
behind her hand)
Ms. Scarlet:
We all did. And we all love cash! Oh, won’t it be divine! (Everyone sighs)
Col. Mustard:
True, True. But who is the culprit? I was Billiard Room challenging Prof. Plum
to a duel. Then I went to bed. And He (points to Mr. Boddy) wasn’t shot!
I have the rope, (swings rope about) and nor was he strangled.
Prof. Plum:
After the challenged duel, I went to the Library to get a book on bugs. I met
Ms. Scarlet there. I had the knife. I went to talk to Mr. Boddy about bugs in
the lounge. I went to bed after that. (Pulls knife out to prove point)
Ms. Scarlet:
(shocked and Flabbergasted) Liar! I was never in the Library! I was In
the Ballroom and the Lounge. I bumped into you after you left. He was still
alive when I came in. We talked about the weather.
Prof. Plum:
(matter-of-factly) Whatever. I knew I saw you.
Mrs. Peacock:
(much surprised) How rude! (Stately as possible) Anyway, I was
being a busy-body in the hall. Then I went to the Lounge. I went in after Mr.
Green and Col. Mustard. I had the lead pipe. (pulls it out)
Mr. Green:
That’s right. (realizes something) Col. You lied! You and I were talking
about a .22 caliber rifle with Mr. Boddy. And I had the revolver and I saw
Prof. Plum walk in after I left. (takes revolver out points it at Col.
Mustard)
Col. Mustard:
I’m sorry. I was in there. It was before my duel. (grabs the revolver out of
Mr. Green's hands) That’s mine. You can have the rope.
Mr Green:
which you never had. (under his breath) (bitterly pouts) but I
don’t want the rope (normal voice) That leaves your alibi Mrs. White.
What were YOU up to?
Mrs. White:
UP TOO? (nearly shouts) (normal voice)I was making tomorrow’s
menu in the kitchen. I talked to Mr. Boddy in the lounge before Mr. Green and
Col. Mustard. I had the wrench.
Prof. Plum, Col. Mustard, and Mr. Green
together: That leaves one person who saw him last
alive. And who doesn’t have a weapon.
Scene Cut
Scene 2 Who Dunnit?
( Suspects hide all weapons that they were
holding. Police come in. Police outlined Mr. Boddy in chalk. Then cover and
take him away. They all walk to the Hall. In Hall they talk)
Police Inspector:
(Robustly) I’ll have to take you all into custody for questioning.
Col. Mustard:
(calmly) No need. Ms. Scarlet is the murderess.
Ms. Scarlet:
(shocked) WHAT? (faints into
Prof. Plum’s arms.)
Mrs. Peacock and Mrs. White together:
How so?
Mr. Green:
(matter-of-factly) It’s obvious. (rolls eyes)
Police Inspector:
(Surprised) How do you know this?
Prof. Plum:
Let me show you. (takes his notepad and pencil out. Drops Ms. Scarlet.)
Oops. (ignores her and looks at notepad and writes something on notepad.
Shows it to police inspector) It was Ms. Scarlet with the Candlestick
in the Lounge.
Scene cut
