My best friend was my cat, Artemis. Most won't understand the relationship I had with him and most think it absurd that my best friend was a cat. I'm not a crazy cat lady, if that is what you are thinking. I just had the one and he was a registered emotional support companion. I wasn't crazy and didn't take him with me to the store or anything but he did travel with me when I moved states. He was a trooper for staying in a kennel for the 8+ hour drives. He hated every minute, but he never wanted to part from me. Anytime I needed someone to foster him, he became upset. He tolerated his foster families but I was his person.
Artemis was a sweet little gray tabby kitten when I found him on my parents' front porch January 2012. He was two months old and was pretty sick. He needed someone to care for him. He needed a friend. My parents reluctantly allowed me to keep him and I will forever be grateful as he became my saving grace. He had various parasites and worms. I took him to the vet and did what was needed to be done and essentially saved his life. Little did I know he would save mine.
A few months later, my brother was kicked out of our home for sexually abusing myself and my sister. It was not his first offense. The world focused on my sister as she suffered a little more physically than myself. I became more reserved than I already was and felt alone. I had no one to talk to except Artemis. He listened patiently as I spilled my words of pain. He might have been a bit judgemental but you never know with cats. I had lost my brother.
I felt more alone as I ventured out into the world after I graduated high school that spring. I lost many friends over what my brother had done. I was an outcast. I was already a wallflower but now it was like I was a pariah. It wasn't fair of them but they didn't understand nor I do I think that they ever would. And that's ok.
I started a job as a nanny for a family of 4 in need. The mom was working full time and needed a helper to make sure her three children were safe and got to school on time each day. It was a hard job, but a good job. I'll always look back at this time with fondness. Little did I know I would end up in a similar circumstances.
Outside of various jobs I held through the next few years, I felt alone save for Artemis. I would come home and the first one I wanted to see was him. Sometimes he drove me crazy by leaving me dead birds in my bed as gifts, but now I would give almost anything to deal with that again. Almost...I read to him sometimes. He probably thought I was nuts, but I knew he was a smart kitty.
I was constantly asking God to end my life. I wasn't exactly suicidal and I would not inflict self harm intentionally, but that did not mean I didn't wanted to be done. Everytime I asked God told me He was not done with me yet. He kept telling me to breathe and reminded me that if I went no one would be there for Artemis. My parents would have taken him to the pound.
Eventually I met my ex-husband. I had low self-esteem and didn't know my worth. I allowed myself to be in this relationship that should not have happened. I married him six months later. Artemis did not like him one bit. I was told that once he boxed my ex because he was mad at him. Eventually he grew to tolerate him, but not before being forced to live with 35 other stay cats my ex had living on his property. That was too much. I never want to live with that many again.
I found out I was pregnant in March 2016. That sweet little boy became my new reason for living. Artemis would have to take a back seat for now. Then I had my daughter at the end of 2017. My son was barely a year old. Artemis was not happy, but he understood what his job was now. He was very protective of them and myself. I know if someone tried to hurt us he would have tried to help.
Near the end of 2018 we moved up to Oregon. Artemis loved the open spaces and he loved that it was not as hot. He did not, however, like the snow. He also liked that there was not as many cats in his home. We only took one other cat, Camo, with us to Oregon. He's kind of wacko, but a sweet cat. I left him in Oregon with my ex.
Life became rocky and messy. My marriage was over. My kids needed to be safe from the abuse and all of the lies. Enough is enough. We moved back to California. Artemis was not a fan of the drive once again, but it would be his last long drive.
Artemis had to be fostered for the second time in his life. The first was after I moved out of my parents. He started being problematic and my roommates said he had to go. I found a new place just a few short months later. This time felt longer. I really needed him. I finally knew my worth, but mentally I still felt alone. I tried to explain to my family my relationship with him and what went on in my head but it was not easy. I pushed forward for my kids. They needed me and I needed Artemis and them. It was hard. I shut down. I strained relationships which I didn't mean to do and I'm still trying to repair them. I never felt more alone internally then I did as i was surrounded by family who loved me.
Time has passed, but not much since I ended that chapter. Artemis was a healthy boy and kept me sane. He had kept me off anti-anxiety medication. I worry now that I will have to start taking them. Just knowing he was there kept me at ease even if I had a meltdown.
In January 2022 I met a wonderful man who has become part of my family. He loves my kids as his own. He loves me. He had a soft spot for Artemis and the cat actually liked him. It was interesting to see Artemis would actively seek him out for attention.
This man would only know Artemis for 10 months. I came home from work one night and Artemis told me he was in pain. He could barely move. My heart ached. I didn't know what to do in the middle of the night, but I wanted to see if just waiting it out would be okay. But then after about 2am the cat started coughing stuff up. I looked and saw nothing in the dark. In the morning I had found he was choking up bile. He was worse. In my heart I knew something was terribly wrong.
I took Artemis to the vet. He had his urinary tract blocked. Unless I had a grand to hand over it was the end. I already knew it was my last day with him. My heart shattered. I didn't want think I would lose him yet. God, however, had different plans. Painfully I acknowledged the look on Artemis's face as he begged me to end his suffering.
I told him I would be okay. I told him he would be okay. I told him I would never forget him. He was apart of me. Not many will understand this connection, but what it is worth that cat saved my life and I saved his. I just couldn't save him this time. That will hurt my soul for as long as I live.
God has a plan and this part of my life is over. Was Artemis only here to keep me alive? Was he only here to get me out of a bad spell? What I do know is that he lived a good long full life. He spent his life mostly happy and secure. He loved me and my kids. He loved his life. He chose me. He knew I needed him. Even though he is gone and my heart has not stopped breaking, I am really okay. I am not broken. I am perfectly as God intended I should be. It took a long time to realize it and I did need Artemis to keep pushing forward. God used him as a reminder to fight for something in life. I now have my children for that. I also have my own self worth. I fight for them and myself. I am worth it.
My best friend is gone, but he remains in my heart. I don't need a pet anymore to be my best friend. No one should have to feel as alone as I was when Artemis found me. I still ache in pain as I think about how much I miss him. This pain will not abandon me anytime soon, but it is worth it. I do not want to forget all that he did for me. I do not want to forget him. He was an amazing friend, although he was judgmental and rude sometimes.
I will miss him trying to eat trash bags; honestly I thought that might kill him. I will miss him at the bottom of my bed at night. I will miss his smart-ass self as he figured out how to ring doorbells and open doors. He was a stinker with a mind of his own, but he was a sweetheart. Goodbye my dear friend.
